Are you exhausted, Mama? Tips for recognizing and resolving Depleted Mother Syndrome
There’s finally a name for the way you’ve been feeling. It’s called Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS). The term was coined by neuroscientist and acupuncture duo, Rick and Jan Hanson in the book, Mother Nurture.
Depleted Mother Syndrome is when the demands of motherhood increase, while resources and support systems decrease.
In turn, mothers are prone to chronic stress, physical dis-ease, and emotional distress. If you’re not a mother, but take on the role of caregiver, this applies to you, too!
Signs of Depleted Mother Syndrome include:
Exhaustion
Emotional sensitivity and reactivity
Irritability
Low libido
Digestive issues
Sleep issues
Loneliness
Anxiety
Overwhelm
Feeling scattered, frazzled, and forgetful
In addition, depleted mothers struggle to meet their basic needs like eating a meal, sleeping, showering, etc…
Depleted Mother Syndrome is widespread and impacts the vast majority of mothers (and caregivers) today.
I don’t have official stats for this, but I can't think of a mother I know who isn't depleted in some way, shape, or form!
The good news is that together we are making visible what’s been largely invisible (though deeply felt) for far too long.
There’s power in naming it.
When we name it we can separate ourselves from it.
This space allows us to gain perspective and see that we are not the problem.
It's not that we're personally failing, it’s that society is failing us!
We may be exhausted, but we still have agency.
We may feel let down and worn down, but we don’t have to continue living like this.
There is hope! Systemic change is possible.
Don’t believe me?
Let me tell you about an incredible organization called the Chamber of Mothers. It’s a collective, mainly mothers, who are working to advance maternal rights including paid leave, maternal health, and affordable childcare. Follow @chamberofmothers on Instagram to get inspired and involved!
I personally seek to support those impacted and suffering from depleted motherhood syndrome (it's nice to finally have something to call it).
While my strength is not in fostering high-level organizational change, I do have nearly 20 years of experience as a healing professional.
My background in Eastern Medicine, mindfulness, and neuroscience provides relevant tools and knowledge that can help mothers do more than just survive.
My strength is in supporting the individual - that's YOU - in reclaiming your health and life, even though we live in a world that doesn't fully support women, mothers, and caregivers.
We need both external and internal support, macro and micro level change. Yin and Yang.
So if you're feeling depleted, but ready to feel better, taking on one more thing can feel completely overwhelming. I get that.
So here's my advice:
Start with self-compassion. A little goes a long way to lower cortisol levels and the deleterious effects of chronic stress.
Practice asking for support. We need to build our modern-day villages and there’s no shame in asking for extra help or paying for it. We’re not meant to do it all on our own.
Let yourself off the hook. Remember, you’re not failing, society is failing you.
Check out my weekly women’s wellness series hosted by @lansingmoms on Instagram. I offer quick, easy, but impactful tips to inspire your healing journey.
Consider joining The Yin Way Program, which I created to support women and mothers who feel depleted in every way - emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Book A Free Strategy Session with me to create a roadmap for resolving your depleted mother syndrome.
And if you’re looking for more ways to stay motivated on your healing journey, check out my Free Masterclass, From Exhausted to Your Best Self.
I'd love to hear from you, do you suffer from depleted mother syndrome? Are you feeling hopeful or hopeless about where you’re at right now? Let me know in the comments below.
